As the seasons roll on and we enter Autumn here in the Southern Hemisphere, I notice afternoon walks with my little guy are meeting dusk sooner each day. This is exciting for me, because it is around this time, that Mother Nature begins to makes magic with her light.
Capturing light is a theme that seems to come up over and over for me, both in my work as an Artist and also as a Spirited Person. I always feel more at ease when I feel light and free on the inside. Don't we all? The problem has always been for me, in keeping that light feeling flowing, when circumstances around me are challenging.
I noticed this familiar old story yesterday, when I was attempting to capture some light-filled photos. The scenery was amazing and I desperately wanted to capture and bottle the feeling. But I felt unable to get the light, nor my son, to sit still for long enough in order to frame the 'perfect shot'. After a few frustrated moments, I realised that I was missing the lighter point.
Instead of making it perfect, I just relaxed and enjoyed my time with both of them. I let go of outcomes and just opened my eyes and heart to enjoying the moment. I snapped away freely and let the wind touch my cheeks.
And as the sun set on my angst, the light shone brighter than ever.
This insight made me realise that whenever I try to 'chase' light - both physically and emotionally, I find myself as a loss. It seems to me that chasing light (or perfection) is a sure-fire way to feel less-than, because I'm telling myself it needs to be earned. I'm only just learning that light is not the absence of darkness, it's my natural state of my being. And you know what?
Within my Natural Light is where I want to Live.
So, every morning, I have begun greeting my work-day with my own, inner light.
- I come downstairs to my studio,
- I sit in my chair,
- I set my timer for 10 minutes,
- I let this be my time,
- I let go of being a grown up with things to do and fix, and instead,
- I imagine I'm made of pure love
- ... and I let go of getting it right.
Sometimes, my mind wanders. Sometimes, I start thinking of my to-do list. But when I notice I'm wandering off course, instead of beating myself up for it, I just come back to love. And you know what?
As I lovingly focus on a feeling of lightness within, I'm finding new ways to respond to challenges.
When I notice myself thinking there is a problem in my relationship or job or with family or with me, I stop, I breathe and I focus on a feeling of love, just like I do each morning.
For even 10 seconds, I imagine love as an iridescent, pastely purple light, filling the space in my body that hurts, and overflowing to the person I'm feeling challenged by - who is sometimes myself. As lightness fills me, the dark feelings fade and I don't need a solution anymore ... because I understand the problem was only ever a dark thought.
I finally understand that I can't change everyone else around me to feel happy, so I need to change within.
I'm still new at this and I still make mistakes. But each time I do this, I feel like I'm meeting a lighter, more compassionate me. It may sound wishy-washy or pie-in-the-sky, and maybe it is ... but if it feels good inside, isn't it worth it? Aren't we all just chasing ways to feel loved? Now, we can.
I'd love to know how pure love 'feels' to you. Does it have a shape or a form? Is at a colour, like mine is, or is it something you hear, taste or sense another way?
Big Love to you,